When it rains, it pours!
Trying to ethically disengage hbu! 🫶
Hi angels, it’s me!
I hope this silly little email delicately dances its way into your inbox and finds you in a moment of peace, something I think we could all use a smidge more of these days!!!
Now, I want to preface this month’s newsletter by saying, I know that I’ve built my entire brand around my penchant for complaining, but even I have to admit that it’s so much more fun to bitch and moan when underneath it all, life is moving forward with relative ease, something I’m not currently apt to claim.
In all honesty, my affairs are entirely out of order! As many of you know, last month my grandpa decided to take his leave (rip!), this month James lost his job (for the umpteenth time!), and to cap it all off, my firstborn son was just diagnosed with type 2 diabetes (T2D mom!), not to mention the godforsaken tariffs.
If I am to take anything away from this season of life and, perhaps more importantly, this season of The White Lotus, it’s Chelsea’s steadfast belief that bad things come in threes. Surely we must be on the rebound—am I right, ladies?
Lately, I’ve been trying (albeit, largely unsuccessfully) to find ethical ways to separate myself from the daily news cycle, caught somewhere between self-preservation and staying informed.
I recognize that this is a privileged take and will likely garner a well-deserved eye roll. Still, between the looming recession, the ongoing ethnic cleansing in Gaza, and the El Salvadorian mega-prison, it’s important to know when to log off and touch the proverbial grass. Rest is where resilience is built, after all.
I recently re-downloaded Co–Star. There’s a certain hopelessness that comes from logging several hours of doomscrolling that leaves me yearning to find meaning—is that diagnosable?
Anyway, I recently found out that I’m what you might call a Soft Summer™️—which, of course, has altered the very fabric of my life (no pun intended!). I’m not surprised. No, as a matter of fact, it makes perfect sense to me. I’m right where I belong. I feel whole, complete even.
On a completely separate note, I want to take a moment to dedicate a few words to the late Pope Francis, if you’ll allow me.
As a non-practicing Catholic, I’ll admit I was only loosely familiar with his work, but holding on just long enough for Jesus to rise from the dead, immediately turning around to dunk on Vice President JD V*nce, and using your final breath to call for an immediate ceasefire in Gaza? That is diva behavior!!! May he rest in peace.
Now, in the spirit of looking on the “bright side” (another practice I’m not wont to do), if only to end this monthly update on a more positive note, I’d like to share a relatively short but ever-powerful list of things currently giving me the will to live.
Diet Coke™️
Wisconsin’s Supreme Court win
Rainy spring mornings (incredibly chic!)
Bridgeport Coffee Cold Brew (available in pouches!)
Mackenzie Barmen’s "Sixty-Somethings” series on TikTok
(Please watch this, I’m begging, it will change your life!!!)
Snapping photos of my cats every time I catch them being cute
Pedro Pascal’s new favorite t-shirt (protect the dolls!)
Sleeping with the windows open
Calling my mom
And with that, I leave you—go for a walk and call your state reps! Love you, mean it, xx.
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Plus, the official rundown of my monthly #shitlist: an ever-growing archive of the people, places, and things that have been testing my patience. It’s petty, it’s personal, and frankly, it’s public service. You know you wanna. 💋
HERE'S WHAT YOU MISSED ;)
Bonus Episode: When You Don't Have a Salty Snack
When you’re hankering for a little something salty and there’s nothing to satisfy your craving, what then?
James and I jump on the podcast to bemoan the existence of billionaires, criticize corporate lingo, lament the sorry sight of an empty snack drawer, and more! Subscribe to unlock this episode, miluvs. ;) Click here to listen.
Seafood Boil Mukbang
Owen and I take to the podcast to celebrate servers with secret talents, protest loud speakers in public places, and cringe at the mukbang of it all (no offense if you’re into that sort of thing!) Click here to listen.
Leaving It All on the Field
Grace and I take to the podcast to celebrate Chelsea Handler's new book, I'll Have What She's Having, recoil at the thought of receiving an out-of-pocket text (examples included), and pay homage to all of the grown men who have ugly cried to the national anthem ahead of the Big Game™️. Click here to listen.
Feeling Insecure About My Water Bottle
James and I hit the podcast to celebrate mixing metals, call out water bottle fads, and critique public feuds. Join in, you know you wanna ;) Click here to listen.
TTYL,
XX
P.S. Have you worshipped at the altar of my ego today? There’s no time like the present. Find the podcast on Spotify or Apple to rate & review the show, text an episode to your most famous friend, or throw me up on your Instagram stories in an act of love. Grand gestures encouraged, xoxo.